Part 23

As he squinted and furrowed down Second
To where Xavier (the second) still beckoned,
Our hero surmised
He would not be surprised,
But the meeting held more than he reckoned.

For upon his arrival he found
There were no other Xaviers around.
Just a gaggle of gals
Who were jawing like pals
As they drank, sang, and generally clowned.

“Their clothes should be more and not less tight…
To a few babes I’m barely at chest height.
How odd that they’re all
So remarkably tall.
Wait a second! That girl’s a transvestite!

“Or transsexual…transgendered…trans-
Of some manner or other. Her hands
Should have tipped me off earlier.
They could stand to be girlier,
Though her chest can’t be less like a man’s.”

(One could here make some statements declarative
That would be for his image reparative—
How he meant no offense
And now truly repents—
But instead let’s get on with the narrative.)

Those hands were, he thought, full of portent.
In her right was an apple: a Cortland.
Her left seemed to throttle
A Dos Equis bottle,
Which to X somehow felt quite important.

When she stepped in an alley to piddle,
He endeavored to answer the riddle—
“I might see what I’m missing
If I join her in pissing,
Though the thought kind of skeeves me a little.”

So he stood by her side and they went,
And when both of their streams had been spent,
His closer inspection
Had led to detection:
He was certain one hundred percent.

He had come a long way as a sleuth,
And what he heard next seemed like proof
That he wasn’t in error,
For they called her Viera—
Looks like Y had been telling the truth.

X was glad that his twin was unique,
Even though some might call her a freak.
Her new physiognomy
Showed her autonomy,
A possession that many still seek.

There once was a young man named Xavier
Who had spurned so-called normal behavior,
And whether he meant it, he
Changed the identity
Of a totally different young Xavier.

[4:00 / carousing / limerick / bladder / Dos Equis / City Tavern]